Things I find Awesome

Damn It, Son

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:09:29 -0400

Well, I found something to do with that domain I bought the other week. Here is DamnItSon.com, your online conscience. Something about that old man’s picture just captured the look of mild anger and disappointment the Greatest Generation has for the Millenials. Swing by anytime you’re about to engage in some sort of deviant online activity to see what grandpa thinks.

The site was designed and built by my friend Katrina Taylor (wife of Scott Taylor, who plays Ringo in this). Her main gig is doing all the web design for Men’s Health, but she does freelance design work too if anyone’s looking to get a new project up and running. Here’s her portfolio.

Amazing work Street

I've seen a miracle

Sat, 09 May 2009 21:27:53 -0400

As a young boy, fast becoming a man, I always wanted to be appealing to women. Being nerdier than most, I often fantasized that my hobbies were shared in secret by beautiful women, so that when the time came, I would have a ready made list of topics to discuss with these buxom beauties that cavorted in my mind.

As I grew older I realized that the passtimes of a teenage boy are rarely, if ever practiced by young girls. Wisdom has shown me that our differences are what make us truly intriguing to each other, and it is these same differences that bind us together.

That being said, watching my luscious girlfriend strip nude because she was too hot in our apartment, and then plop down on our lazy boy to read one of my x-men comics was too much for my inner geek to bear. I had a nerd-gasm. And like any nerd worth his salt, instead of capitalizing on her nubile flesh and the gifts it proposes, I decided to blog about it.

kevinslane: Some of you may have seen Jeff Rubin’s or Ricky Van Ween’s post about how Paul Rudd is...

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 16:50:43 -0500

kevinslane:

Some of you may have seen Jeff Rubin’s or Ricky Van Ween’s post about how Paul Rudd is the “world’s awesomest human” because the google search for “Paul Rudd is a douchebag” produced no results (It’s at 614 now, and will probably go up with this post). I thought this was an amazing revelation, and showed what many already assumed: Paul Rudd is a pretty chill dude.

Upon closer inspection, I don’t know how impressive this is after all. There are no results for Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, James Franco, Andy Samberg, Will Arnett, Will Forte, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, and many others for “___ is a douchebag”.

I think the new challenge should be who has the highest total results for “_____ is a douchebag.” Right now I’ve got Carlos Mencia in the lead with a whopping 1,070 results. Anybody have a higher total? Reblog, or let me know in the comments.

1070 for Mencia is Whopping? Try John Mayer 43,300 in 0.15 seconds

Groundhog Birthday

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 09:59:12 -0500

I think it’s going to be a good year. Every year on my birthday (which is today) I pop my head out the window. If there’s snow on the ground, it’s going to suck. If not then we’re ready to rock. If it’s warm enough outside that the girl’s will be wearing their mini-skirts out to the clubs, then woohoo for global warming!!!

My hatred for snow is pretty deep. I live in Montreal, so I have to deal with snow for a few months every year. My father was militant about his driveway. Whenever it snowed I had to shovel it down to withing a millimeter so that when the sun decided to poke it’s bastard head out of the clouds, whatever was left would melt. On a street with uniformly white driveways, ours was always jet black.

This dislike of frosted precipitation is such that I could poke my head out of the window and see a tornado, and go, “Alright…no snow. So…does anybody have any shelter?”

I’m another year older. 25 birthdays have come, and yet I still haven’t gotten over my childish antics. Welcome ot my groundhog birthday.

Rough Road ahead

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:26:44 -0500

I drank 3/4 of a pint glass of water straight from the tap. As I drained it I noticed it was fizzing. Sure I finished the glass, but I knew it was gonna be a bumpy night ahead.

Way Behind the curve

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 11:38:00 -0500

September 20th, 2005. I was beginning my last year of University. I was really busy with school work, and not doing any of it. I was not a very good student, but I did work a lot because I liked partying, and unless you were born with boobs, partying costs money. That night I was probably: studying (not likely), getting some (possibly), trying to get some (more likely), or working to pay off enough of my student loan to get it extended to buy more booze (ding ding ding). Because I was otherwise engaged, I missed the premiere of a fantastic show, My name is Earl. Because of my hectic life-style, I am sad to say that I have never seen an episode. there really is no excuse. I love Jason Lee, I love the trailer trash sexiness of Jaime Pressly. I love trailer trash humor in general. The fact that I had not seen an episode is unforgivable.

Fast forward to today. School is out, I quit that career to go work in construction, because the whole “educated professional” thing really doesn’t work for me. It clashes with my spirit. I’m a simple guy, who likes building things and breaking things.

The best part about construction is also the worst part of construction. When it gets cold, there’s not much work to be done. That being said I have a lot of free time on my hands now. It is my goal to eat right, work out, and watch every episode of My Name is Earl that has ever aired.

Five bucks to whoever can correctly guess which of those I am most likely to accomplish (hint: I ate a gut buster supreme last night, and the cold left overs this morning).

I Had a Dream

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 10:02:06 -0500

I had a dream

where ideas and reality

they met, mated and birthed

the fuel for the universe

I had a dream

that made me believe

that everything in sight

that happened would be alright

I had a dream

that though perfect

distressed me because

I had a dream and I don’t remember what it was

patrickcassels: NEW STAR TREK TRAILER. My love of Star Trek is...

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 10:03:31 -0500

patrickcassels:

NEW STAR TREK TRAILER.

My love of Star Trek is a passion I rarely indulge in publically. Even in the decidedly uncool, virgin-filled culture of sci-fi geeks, Star Trek lovers posess a distinguisged level of nerdiness that make X-Files fans look like Casanovas. That said, the not-quite-released trailer for Lost co-creator’s J.J. Abram’s Trek re-vamp must, at all costs, be spread like Tribbles on the USS Enterprise.

I’m not going to lie, in the Star Trek/ Star Wars conflict, I have always been a SW fan to the exlcusion of all things Trek. That said, this movie looks like what a Prequel should. They’ve got my $12.50

samreich: saramcpherson: Presidency, corner pocket. What would...

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 00:18:50 -0500

samreich:

saramcpherson:

Presidency, corner pocket.

What would you do while waiting to be president? Yes Obama is just that cool

Ray Dalton, 1929-2008

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 09:13:36 -0400

samreich:

My British grandfather died tonight from complications after a stroke. He was 79.

When I was 15, I dropped out of high school and enrolled in a British college. It was only then that I got to know him. Apparently he was pretty conservative with my mom, but I think he was able to be more liberal with me, seeing me as a wild little American. We would take walks in the gardens and talk about religion, politics, and other things you’re not supposed to talk about in Britain. I remember saying, “Art is the only true form of therapy,” and him just laughing and saying, “Sam, you drop these bombshells.”

At a time when clinical depression had trounced my sense of self-worth, he made me feel like an intellectual. He made me feel - like every teenager longs to feel - like an adult.

My condolences Sam. It seems like you lost an important person. I’m happy for you that you got to know him.

Changes

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 13:59:43 -0400

I would never characterize myself as being a particularly courageous person. I was always nervous of fights in school. I was sensitive and didn’t care much for bullying. I went to University and got a degree in something that I didn’t particularly like, probably because I didn’t want to deal with the stigma of being branded a quitter.

This always causes a bit of dissonance because I was always very supportive of people who quit school. With my own experience in hand, I could sympathize with people who knew they didn’t like what they were doing and wanted a changem and I respected them for it. I never even was bothered bythe people traditionally deemed “losers”, those who drop school and never really do much else with their lives. Somebody needs to stock the shelves at Walmart. As long as people are working, and as long as I don’t have to support them, I respect everybody’s choices. Except my own obviously, because I worked a job I hated that I got as a result of an education I didn’t want.

Recently I quit that job, moved halfway across Canada and got a job working in construction. It pays 3 times my old salary, I get the sense of accomplishment of having built something, overtime is paid, and when the day is done, I bring no stress home with me. It really seems to be perfect. Granted it is physically more difficult, and I am away from family and friends, but anyone who knows me well knows how little time I spent with family and friends while I was working my desk job. My girlfriend can attest to how physically difficult my old job was too, because I was so nervous and that I threw up all the time. The time I have with loved ones now will be quality time.

Everyone I know looks at me with respect now, admiring at how brave I am to just get up and go like I did. I guess this is how all heroes end up feeling. I don’t think I’m brave, I just got into a situation where I had to move, or probably die miserable. I think that is what bravery is all about, you move when not moving means misery and pain. Could everyone do what I did? I always thought so. After speaking with people I’ve come to realize that most people would rather live in a misery that they know, rather than take a shot in the dark at happiness.

I think that’s the saddest thing of all.

So Not Chill

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:59:27 -0400

jakehurwitz:

I’ve been on vacation with my family in Nantucket for the last week. You see a lot of people dressed in really obnoxious clothing out here, which is fine, it’s just their style. But among all the seersucker pants and boat shoes there’s one thing that I really take offense to. Popped collars.

The thing about popping a collar, first and foremost, is that it’s out of style. Even when it was popular among assholes and posers, it was not cool. Now, however, it’s not cool and also dated.

I think the thing that gets me most about it though is that it’s a conscious effort to look like a dick. It’s taking an otherwise perfectly normal shirt and sabotaging it. It’s not as if you bought a pair of pants that have since gone out of style, only you still wear them when you haven’t done laundry. That fashion crime would be like manslaughter. Popping your collar is murder one.

SHUCKSHESH!

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 16:28:22 -0400

SHUCKSHESH!

"I think that your bachelor party is supposed to be an event you regret. That way if you feel the..."

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:50:09 -0400

“I think that your bachelor party is supposed to be an event you regret. That way if you feel the same at the altar as you did at 4:26A.M when your friends convinced you to get a tattoo of Mickey Mouse blowing himself, you know you should run”

- Random Toine Thought

I'll show you how crazy I am, just give me a pencil

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 11:16:40 -0400

I’ve been sitting on this for a few days, but I cannot contain myself any longer. I believe that the Joker’s “Pencil Trick” is the most psychotically shocking display of violence that I have ever seen.

At an assembly of mob bosses, with their retinue of flunky body guards and trigger-men, a slight, solitary man walks boldly, if quirkily into the room. Being in the presence of the most dangerous men in Gotham (if not the world) does not seem to faze him at all. In an entourage of highly priced, well tailored suits, this man has a cobbled together uniform that evokes the image of a poor vaudevillian performer. His hair is greasy and unevenly dyed green, bringing to mind toxic waste, or runoff sludge. His face is painted white, but distracted application and sweat have made cracks appear in his visage. His mouth is a crimsonly painted and much distorted smile that, while barely covering scars, does nothing to hide the uneasiness that his bizarre mannerisms inspire.

His speech is simple, his tone eerie. He respects nobody at the table, he barely acknowledges their presence as he describes his plan: To Kill the Batman.

Nobody takes this offense more personally than Gambol, who sends one of his men to go “escort” the clown outside. This is the setup for his great trick. “I want to show you a magic trick boys” he says in his slower than normal cadence, as if every word is handpicked out of a chaotic jumble in his mind. He already knows what he wishes to do, he simply needs to present it properly.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls a pencil out; he slowly and deliberately places it standing up on a table as the intimidating bodyguard draws closer. “I am going to make this pencil disappear” he says not watching the gangsters. He is focusing intently on his pencil, waving his hands over it, as if willing it to dematerialize. The bodyguard is now withing arms reach, and lunges menacingly at the macabre magician. It is at this moment that he becomes the unwilling assistant to the execution of the trick.

With a speed and agility that we have not seen from him yet, the made-up menace deftly evades the brawny thug. With the poise and control of a ballet dance he grabs the doomed enforcer by the back of the head and drives him, eyeball first into the up-turned pencil. Over as quickly as it has begun, the pencil fully embedded into the bodyguard’s skull, the center of attention gazes up proudly at the now shocked Mafiosos.

“TA-DAAAAAAAAAA!” he exclaims satisfied by his trick. We as an audience have now been properly introduced to Batman’s greatest foe: The Joker.

The switch from quirky to killer happens quicker than the eye can follow. The genuine pride in what is, admittedly, an impressive trick is sickening. His presence is frightening, his aura is eerie. Now that Heath Ledger is gone you cannot see this character without feeling the spectre of death. It is almost too perfect. This is what the Joker is. He is a sadistic clown with an aura of death. He frightens everyone around. If you do not feel intimidated by him, then you are truly in his realm of psychosis.

This is what photography and film should be used for.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:44:02 -0400

This is what photography and film should be used for.

samreich: It’s my birthday! Happy birthday dude. Keep up the good work at CH, your direction is...

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 09:28:12 -0400

samreich:

It’s my birthday!

Happy birthday dude. Keep up the good work at CH, your direction is adding some serious skill and focus to the mad-cap hilarity of the people around you.

dangurewitch: The Ever-Since-The-40-Year-Old-Virgin-Did-Well...

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:42:27 -0400

dangurewitch:

The Ever-Since-The-40-Year-Old-Virgin-Did-Well Rule of Movie Advertising: If it’s an A-list comedy, its poster must feature the main character(s) staring at you or off into space, backlit by a glowing beam of light and color.

Dan is one of the most observant people I know for things that don’t really need to be observed.

Sure I can break the rules....they're my rules

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:38:18 -0400

This site is called things I find awesome. Basically the point for me to write this was as a piece of cosmic balance to the other blogs I have seen out there. In a society where everyone tends to create a blog to make fun of someone/something, I wanted a blog that celebrated the things in life I enjoy. Basically this is the universal if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all. I have to break that rule, because I need to vent a frustration I have.

I hate cell phones.

I have a cellphone. I have had one for 7 years. Most of my family has a cellphone. The ones that don’t either spend all of their time by their home phone, or at Work. I believe that everyone of my friends has a cellphone, and if they don’t, I haven’t spoken to them since the last time I saw them. I’m pretty sure they all have phones.

Everytime I switch phones I live in a technological diaspora, because I rarely remember to transfer my numbers from one phone to another before getting rid of my old phone. This is actually a good thing because it validates who my true friends are, because I am more in touch, and thus more likely to get calls from them, thus re-adding them to my phone.

I run around a lot. I work long hours for long stretches at a time. If it wasn’t for my cell phone, I wouldn’t be reachable. It also acts as my home phone, because why spend money if I don’t have to? When I am on vacation, I rarely look at my phone, because I usually am seeing the people I want to speak with.

My phone records show that with the exception of my sister Cynthia, none of my phone conversations last longer than 2 minutes, unless I am on hold.

So my cell bio is out there. I hate cells, but more than that I really get peeved at the people who use them. Here are some cell antics that annoy me.

Other people Text messaging during a movie or play distracts me, and annoys me. We paid to see this. If you didn’t want to see it, why did you come?

People talking on their phone while walking down the street annoys me. Life is beautiful, enjoy it. Talk to your friends when you see them, think to yourself while you walk. An exception to this is if you are lost on the way to meet your friends somewhere. These calls should last no longer than 2 minutes.

People talking about nothing on the phone. I understand a “hi, how’s it going” is customary when starting a phone conversation, but Christ there have been many occasions where I have heard people discussing their supper to people on the phone. Is it just me, or is that really a waste of time that could be better spent thinking of something better to talk about?

I think worse than all of these things put together and multiplied by 10 though are people who don’t know what their own phone sounds like. These people sit oblivious to the sound of their phone ringing, only realizing after 10 rings that they have just annoyed everyone around them. It’s aggravating when the person is unapologetic about their being annoying, but It frustrates me worse when they apologize about it. It doesn’t change what just happened, it won’t change the next time you’ll be annoying. Stop apologizing and start being smart enough to remember your own ringtone.

" Once upon a time, in some out of the way corner of that universe which is dispersed into numberless..."

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:11:31 -0400

““ Once upon a time, in some out of the way corner of that universe which is dispersed into numberless twinkling solar systems, there was a star upon which clever beasts invented knowing. That was the most arrogant and mendacious minute of “world history,” but nevertheless, it was only a minute. After nature had drawn a few breaths, the star cooled and congealed, and the clever beasts had to die. One might invent such a fable, and yet he still would not have adequately illustrated how miserable, how shadowy and transient, how aimless and arbitrary the human intellect looks within nature. There were eternities during which it did not exist. And when it is all over with the human intellect, nothing will have happened.”

- Frederick Nietzsche