Things I find Awesome

In my next life….

• You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat.
• Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.
• When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy, you spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.
• When you start work, you get a gold watch! on your first day.
• You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you’re too young to work.
• So then, you go to high school: play sports, date, drink, and party.
• As you get even younger, you become a kid again.
• You go to elementary school, play, and have no responsibilities.
• In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy.
• You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating,   room service on tap.
• Until finally…You finish off as an orgasm.