Things I find Awesome

I've seen a miracle

As a young boy, fast becoming a man, I always wanted to be appealing to women.  Being nerdier than most, I often fantasized that my hobbies were shared in secret by beautiful women, so that when the time came, I would have a ready made list of topics to discuss with these buxom beauties that cavorted in my mind.

As I grew older I realized that the passtimes of a teenage boy are rarely, if ever practiced by young girls.  Wisdom has shown me that our differences are what make us truly intriguing to each other, and it is these same differences that bind us together.

That being said, watching my luscious girlfriend strip nude because she was too hot in our apartment, and then plop down on our lazy boy to read one of my x-men comics was too much for my inner geek to bear.  I had a nerd-gasm.  And like any nerd worth his salt, instead of capitalizing on her nubile flesh and the gifts it proposes, I decided to blog about it.

kevinslane:

Some of you may have seen Jeff Rubin’s or Ricky Van Ween’s post about how Paul Rudd is the “world’s awesomest human” because the google search for “Paul Rudd is a douchebag” produced no results (It’s at 614 now, and will probably go up with this post). I thought this was an amazing revelation, and showed what many already assumed: Paul Rudd is a pretty chill dude.

Upon closer inspection, I don’t know how impressive this is after all. There are no results for Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, James Franco, Andy Samberg, Will Arnett, Will Forte, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, and many others for “___ is a douchebag”.

I think the new challenge should be who has the highest total results for “_____ is a douchebag.” Right now I’ve got Carlos Mencia in the lead with a whopping 1,070 results. Anybody have a higher total? Reblog, or let me know in the comments.

1070 for Mencia is Whopping?  Try John Mayer 43,300 in 0.15 seconds

Groundhog Birthday

I think it’s going to be a good year.  Every year on my birthday (which is today) I pop my head out the window.  If there’s snow on the ground, it’s going to suck.  If not then we’re ready to rock.  If it’s warm enough outside that the girl’s will be wearing their mini-skirts out to the clubs, then woohoo for global warming!!!

My hatred for snow is pretty deep.  I live in Montreal, so I have to deal with snow for a few months every year.  My father was militant about his driveway.  Whenever it snowed I had to shovel it down to withing a millimeter so that when the sun decided to poke it’s bastard head out of the clouds, whatever was left would melt.  On a street with uniformly white driveways, ours was always jet black.

This dislike of frosted precipitation is such that I could poke my head out of the window and see a tornado, and go, “Alright…no snow.  So…does anybody have any shelter?”

I’m another year older.  25 birthdays have come, and yet I still haven’t gotten over my childish antics.  Welcome ot my groundhog birthday.

Rough Road ahead

I drank 3/4 of a pint glass of water straight from the tap.  As I drained it I noticed it was fizzing.  Sure I finished the glass, but I knew it was gonna be a bumpy night ahead.

Way Behind the curve

September 20th, 2005.  I was beginning my last year of University.  I was really busy with school work, and not doing any of it.  I was not a very good student, but I did work a lot because I liked partying, and unless you were born with boobs, partying costs money.  That night I was probably: studying (not likely), getting some (possibly), trying to get some (more likely), or working to pay off enough of my student loan to get it extended to buy more booze (ding ding ding).  Because I was otherwise engaged, I missed the premiere of a fantastic show, My name is Earl.  Because of my hectic life-style, I am sad to say that I have never seen an episode.  there really is no excuse.  I love Jason Lee, I love the trailer trash sexiness of Jaime Pressly.  I love trailer trash humor in general.  The fact that I had not seen an episode is unforgivable.

Fast forward to today.  School is out, I quit that career to go work in construction, because the whole “educated professional” thing really doesn’t work for me.  It clashes with my spirit.  I’m a simple guy, who likes building things and breaking things.

The best part about construction is also the worst part of construction.  When it gets cold, there’s not much work to be done.  That being said I have a lot of free time on my hands now.  It is my goal to eat right, work out, and watch every episode of My Name is Earl that has ever aired.

Five bucks to whoever can correctly guess which of those I am most likely to accomplish (hint: I ate a gut buster supreme last night, and the cold left overs this morning).

I Had a Dream

I had a dream

where ideas and reality

they met, mated and birthed

the fuel for the universe

I had a dream

that made me believe

that everything in sight

that happened would be alright

I had a dream

that though perfect

distressed me because

I had a dream and I don’t remember what it was

Ray Dalton, 1929-2008

samreich:

My British grandfather died tonight from complications after a stroke.  He was 79.

When I was 15, I dropped out of high school and enrolled in a British college.  It was only then that I got to know him.  Apparently he was pretty conservative with my mom, but I think he was able to be more liberal with me, seeing me as a wild little American.  We would take walks in the gardens and talk about religion, politics, and other things you’re not supposed to talk about in Britain.  I remember saying, “Art is the only true form of therapy,” and him just laughing and saying, “Sam, you drop these bombshells.”

At a time when clinical depression had trounced my sense of self-worth, he made me feel like an intellectual.  He made me feel - like every teenager longs to feel - like an adult.

My condolences Sam.  It seems like you lost an important person.  I’m happy for you that you got to know him.